‘Computer’s broke!'… ‘Tell it to get a job then’: 25+ Questions people have actually asked IT and IT's hilariously snarky responses

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    Cheezburger Image 9833036544
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    The s it people ask IT Today I was in the office .I had one user walk up to me and demand that I put company email on his personal ipad.I declined. I then turned the corner and another user flagged me down to ask me where the files go when you minimize the app and that because she doesn't know where they go it's causing her to have to reopen the same files she then proceeded to about having to open her laptop to login to her pc because when she plugs into the dock in the morning the screens are
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    DrockByte 6 hr. ago I once had to deal with a project manager who thought they knew better than everyone about everything. I was explaining why something couldn't/shouldn't be done the way he wanted when he said, "well my cousin works in IT so I know my way is best."
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    It was at that moment I realized there was no reasoning with him, and he was the project manager, so rather than fighting with him I just told him that I would need all of that in writing (including the part about how he just knows better cuz he's related to someone).
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    It was a few days later, but during a separate discussion I did tell him, "My cousin is a project manager so I know I'm right." The look on his face was priceless.
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    TrainA 11 hr. ago Sysadmin . It's the ones who refuse to even try to learn anything that drive me nuts. We recently sent out instructions to users to setup an MFA using MS Authenticator. The instructions were simple and well detailed so even a child could follow it.
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    We've had users contact us saying they're having trouble and will tell us that they didn't bother to read the email and/or deleted it, and act like it's a joke.
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    Stonewalled 9999 - 3 hr. ago I hate when a dumb user says "I don't work in IT why should I know how to use a computer?" I am not a mechanic but I can check my oil, my tire pressure, put gas in it, wash and scrub the windshield. Basic life skill.
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    matt95110 15 hr. ago Sysadmin I had a ticket escalated to me once, it was for a VP that couldn't get on the VPN. After 15 minutes on the phone with him I asked him if his home internet was working. He said no, he didn't have internet because he was at his cabin which didn't have internet.
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    Geminii27 10 hr. ago Oh fricking... I'm reminded of a call from a minesite employee with their laptop. Laptop used wireless to connect to an onsite network. The problem? The user had finished their shift and gone home with the laptop. Meaning they'd caught a plane to their home 1500 miles away from the minesite. Yeah... wireless ain't THAT good, buddy.
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    ChampionshipComplex 16 hr. ago I had a security guard on reception tell me the front desk PC had a virus, and asked me to come and look at it. 'Look' he said, 'when I move the mouse down, the cursor goes up... and when I move it up the cursor goes down'. He was a nice old guy so I didn't have the heart to tell him, and just turned the mouse round when he wasn't looking and said Id fixed it, and told him he was probably right it was a temporary virus.
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    Thrizzlepizzle123123 · 17 hr. ago I had a user call to complain that her PC wouldnt turn on. Turns out her building had no power. It's surprisingly hard to explain to someone that computers need power to function if you've never had to do it before.
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    SublimeApathy. I recently had a user, message me on Teams, to report that her Teams doesn't work. 16 hr. ago
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    dlongwing 14 hr. ago You know, I think I just came up with a great response for these: Take ticket. Work on tech debt or projects that you consider high priority. Fix something. Reply back to ticket. "Server fixed. Please try now" "It's still broken!" "You didn't say what was broken so I had to guess. I'll fix the next server on my to-do list and get back to you."
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    Geminii27 11 hr. ago "Ticket closed pending user supplying any information whatsoever"
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    LokeCanada 14 hr. ago I wish that is all I got. I used to have a security administrator send emails to the entire IT department "Please check the contents of this message to see if it has a virus.'. Only stopped once I described how many policies he is breaking and that I am about to kill all of his accounts.
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    Geminii27 11 hr. ago "Tell computer to get a job"
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    Comfortable Property9 15 hr. ago Used to work support for a national retailer. Got a LOT of calls about the internet being down. You'd ask what lights the modem had on it and they'd go "hold on, I need to get a flashlight because the power is out".
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    Sesame Street Fighter. 15 hr. ago I once had an "emergency call" from a user, saying that their laptop lost power during a very important online meeting. I came over to take a look. They had an old flip phone charger inserted into the 3.5mm audio jack.
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    trazom28 16 hr. ago I love the "we just bought 20 of this brand new tech thing. How does it work?" You mean the thing that just got released and I've never heard of before, but you bought it without ITs input?
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    cygnus33065. 16 hr. ago We one got a ticket on a rainy day for someone that wanted us to get him a shirt because he got wet coming into the building from his car.
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    pantzareoptional • 15 hr. ago I got a ticket once, while on call mind you, because the light was out on their sign out front. Ma'am I am 2 states away from you, what in the blue heck am I supposed to do for you.
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    TheWilsons edited 15 hr. ago 15 hr. ago. Literally had someone call our help desk to go out and pick up some food for them and they will pay us back.
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    insomniahag 15 hr. ago We once got a ticket asking us to replace the sticky trap because it was full of black widows. 8 Reply Share These-Camp6107.9 hr. ago I hear you are good at finding and fixing bugs
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    snekbat 11 hr. ago An ex-colleague of mine got ticket to come scare away the seagulls because they were s tting all over the users car.
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    IneptNinja 16 hr. ago Had a ticket from a user asking for read/write access to the internet
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    Stephen1424 10 hr. ago Gonna have to clear this request with the elders of the Internet first.
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    GloveLove21 16 hr. ago . At my first company there was a lady that was convinced that her internet got slower every day when the Sun shined into her office.
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    Ok_Veterinarian_6488 16 hr. ago IT Analyst "What is caps lock?"
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    Duskmage22 16 hr. ago Our building lost power and the power company said it would be at least two days. We had a higher up, who went to Stanford by the way, ask if the internet was going to be back up when she got back from lunch. We said no because we didnt have power... she then asked if she used her laptop if she could connect to the internet that way. Some people are just dumb lol

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